My Mum is now slowly dying from chronic heart failure and if I am there when she passes away I hope I’m brave enough to look upwards in the hope that she will see me. Your pain of loss when your dog of 13 years died is totally understandable because we love our animals unconditionally, they share joy and sorrow with us, and they love us back unconditionally, they are the most loyal best friend we ever experience. Everyone said he had only had a couple hours to couple days since he’s been suffering with stage 4 colon cancer for over a year now and his body is just worn out and shutting down. I also wonder if you could tell Roger that YOU need him to enroll in hospice care because you need the support to help you care for him at home. He nodded yes, but it wasn’t time yet. I found it by googling the words “What is sitting vigil hospice.”Hi Sherry, I am so sorry that your daughter is dying and that you needed to find this post.
What do I do? If your husband refuses hospice, you may ask the doctor to prescribe home health services for Roger, to get a nurse in for pain management, and an aide in to the house to help you with his care. Blessings to everyone who has the need to be informed about this very natural life experience. I suggest you have a geriatric physician or treating oncologist assess her for whether or not she needs antidepressants or other medications to help her feel less anger or agitation, or feel more calm. Your first question has to be what is best for your young daughter and for you.
Thank you for the real advice, I had never heard about opening a window. The message is to take the time to work through YOUR process of grief, it’s not a selfish emotion, it’s part of our process, our experience of life and death, and being in awe of both. Just because they cannot respond doesn’t mean they don’t want to hear your voice and feel a part of this world until they leave it. And please let go of any guilt you still carry each day, it serves no positive purpose. But I know at the same time it is so hard to free ourselves from self-scrutiny and judgment. Take good care –Sitting Vigil at a Deathbed is draining, hearthbreaking and very emotional. Know that you did all you could, that he was medicated appropriately, and that you loved him well through his death process.I experienced something similar with my Mother who just died a few weeks ago. I almost walked into the other room when a voice said “Go see your daughter” so I walked back into her room and sat at her feet…I was afraid to look at her face because I hated seeing the one eye open and one shut so I started rubbing her feet…and they were so cold…and I kept saying to myself- I need to warm them…when suddenly that same voice told me to “look at your daughter” and when I looked up- both eyes were open, the glazed look was gone- replaced with a glowing shining light of love and joy and she began smiling…and I told her how beautiful and happy she looked and she kept smiling and I asked if heaven was as beautiful as we are told…and she smiled on and I asked if she saw JI was just so transfixed by the radiance that filled her face and I felt Divine Love in the room and then she softly left me…as she quietly transitioned…I was honored to bring her into this world and so blessed to guide her home to the Father…This experience proved there is a God…he is Divine Love and heaven is more beautiful then anything we can imagine. Three days ago we were told “At any time now”. Myself and my 11 daughter have recently became under fire from my grandmother for not returning her back to Oklahoma to live alone.. And as her condition decreases so does her fondness of us. But yesterday, he had taken a turn for the worse so I got a train as soon as I could to be with him. I wondered if she waited for me to come back in the morning. First, I suggest you have your grandmother assessed for psych issues related to her age or to the cancer spreading, maybe it’s spread to her brain. When Roger retired, he moved from Texas to his home town in Oklahoma. I was with her at the end. My Dad did the same thing, he stopped eating and drank very little fluids. I save # 10 True love ways for last & tell mom that dad wants the last dance.
My heart is in my throat as I write this, but I wanted to thank you for sharing this wisdom. I am a RN, and I have sat with dying patients and their family members several times. Thank you for giving me such helpful advice for easing her and me through this transition from one life to the next.Hi Jan, (March 2018) I am sorry for the loss of your mum and so very suddenly after she had been in hospital. RIP my AngleDear Lisa, thank you for sharing your story as a caregiver to your friend. The things on your list will help so very much. I feel much more prepared now. That was a gift to you both. Thank you.Thank you for taking the time to comment, Debra, it is truly appreciated. I felt a feeling of warmth come over me, and was so happy to be experiencing this with him. You are so right about them being aware. She loved having her window open rather it be 100 degrees or snow on the ground.